I chose my priorities at every crossroad; my career just followed.

The first time I questioned my priorities was when I was 16, after high school. Until then, my life in Turkey had been mostly going with the flow, studying hard, without questioning much the direction. The system around education and society didn't seem to care much about what you wanted to do, instead focusing on what would get you a good job based on what you were good at in school. I was good at math and science, and average at geography and history, so the path naturally led to engineering. Studying engineering was as deliberate a choice as one can be at the age of 16. Crossroad 1: Go your own way. When faced with the question of what to do after my bachelor's, the only thing I knew was I wanted to experience life more fully. So far, every hour was very strictly planned, every weekend was reserved for studying my weaker subjects or hobbies that felt like compulsory extracurriculars needed for the CV. I ended up going to Finland to study, more by chance than anything else. When I got the acceptance for my master's degree in biomedical engineering, my mind went "Away from parents, entrance into the field of healthcare, heaven of exchange students, yes please!". When I landed there, aged 20, with no place to stay and not knowing anyone, I took an easy breath for the first time. It was time to discover who I was. Without people knowing me, expecting certain behaviors, I could experiment with who I wanted to be. So, I focused on living fully. I did all the things students do in Finland, absorbing the student culture, adapting to the Finnish way of life and learning a new "normal", which was very different in a good way from my old "normal" back home. Crossroad 2: Should I stay or should I go? After two years, I was at a crossroad again, having to choose between staying in Finland or going back home after graduation. I knew I wanted to stay in my chosen home; I was not going back. I came to love the way of living in Finland, the freedom, the quiet, the nature. Staying was my priority. This was the first crossroad where I knowingly followed my heart and what I wanted next for myself. Crossroad 3: Stand by me. With a few months left on my visa, a few euros on my bank account and a lot of rejected applications, it was my university professor who gave me my chance. She believed in me to do something I had never done and had no idea how to do. She offered me a project manager position for a university grant she had. This was the first time I saw what it meant to take a chance on someone not based on their experience but their character. That trust meant more to me than anything. With her support, I got a four-year grant for my PhD. As soon as I got it, I knew I wanted to remove the obstacle of my citizenship for the next crossroad so that having a non-EU visa wouldn't limit my options. So, this time, while working on my PhD, I also studied Finnish seriously. All in all, I spent 8 years taking courses at various levels, as I had little opportunity to practice it socially. In 2018, I finally got my Finnish citizenship after passing the language test and having worked long enough in Finland. This opened almost all doors in Europe for me, which was freeing, to say the least. Crossroad 4: Hello, is it me you're looking for? The next crossroad was when I was almost done with my PhD. I started looking for jobs through a few of my contacts in Finland. Even with networking and interviewing in Finnish, I found no opportunities in healthcare, except an unpaid internship. By then, I was also done with limited time contracts. As an immigrant, having long term financial security was important for me. I also knew I needed experience outside academia, to get my hands dirty. At this point, I was stuck. I knew my priorities were staying in healthcare with a permanent contract in industry but didn't know how to get there. How does one make a CV to transition from academia to industry? What skills did I have that would be valued in a company? I found a community of PhDs online who were transitioning to industry, helping and encouraging each other with feedback and examples. Thanks to this community, I was able to create a CV and started getting interviews. Eventually I accepted a position with a permanent contract in a maturing medical device startup in Salzburg, Austria, two months before my PhD graduation. The pay was not much, but the contract was unlimited, and the company helped arrange affordable accommodation. It ticked all the boxes, so off I went, leaving the life I had built over the past 10 years. My partner would join me later and I had until then to find suitable accommodation for both of us. In a year working there, I learnt more and faster than anywhere before in my life. It was a great introduction to the inner workings of industry, just how much work went into a product, how diverse the roles were, yet all interlinked. Crossroad 5: On the road again. After the year, I had collected enough information on the country and my job to ask myself whether Austria would be our home in the future. I had learnt German with my company's support, and I met some wonderful people, but life was expensive and international options limited, both for me and my partner. By now, I had learnt enough about industry to know that I needed alternatives for employment, especially in English. I always learnt the language of the country I lived in, simply because I believe it is crucial to live fully. Though professionally, I needed somewhere more open, more welcoming to different experiences and backgrounds. I started looking with that in mind, and after some time I got an offer from the Netherlands. It checked all the boxes we had in mind, so in the middle of Covid, summer of 2020, we moved to the Netherlands, without a single visit beforehand. Nowadays, every time someone asks me what I think of living in the Netherlands, my answer comes down to priorities. It's the most capitalist country I have ever lived in, life and childcare are expensive, healthcare coverage means paracetamol for every illness, but it pays enough to afford a high-quality lifestyle for me and my family. People are warm enough, the weather is pleasant enough, and as long as you have a car, biking is great. "I felt like I was getting lost in life, rather than consciously building one." Crossroad 6: Is this it? This year, after 6 years in the Netherlands, I realized this feeling of restlessness. I felt like I was getting lost in life, rather than consciously building one. I knew my priorities were a stable life for my family and a job with purpose, so what was it that didn't fit? A bit of soul searching showed that my purpose in life has become more elusive after becoming a mother. Not knowing where to begin, I turned towards peer support that helped me find my way during my transition from PhD. I started looking for some guidance and feedback from people who have been where I was. I recently stumbled upon CoworkHer mentee cohort, where I hope to find like-minded people to reflect together and find clarity on what purposeful work might look like for me. For now, I have no idea what the next 10 years will look like, and it is sometimes scary, but I know enough not to settle when my priorities change. When I look back, a lot of the outcomes of the crossroads seem like luck, which I don't deny played a huge role. But it's also a fact that I was ready to seize the opportunity that aligned with my priorities once I started looking. What are your priorities in your life today? How do you find your next step? And who do you turn to for help and clarity when you are lost? Defne Us is an expat at heart, having called 4 countries home so far. She's originally from Turkey and nowadays based in the Netherlands. Her passion for improving people's lives with her everyday work led her to the field of healthcare in the last 15 years, spanning time in academia, startup and corporate scenes. In her rare free time as a mother of two (a newborn and a toddler) working full time, Defne enjoys water related sports in all its forms (swimming, skating, skiing). Defne is part of the first CoworkHer Mentee Cohort, launched in July 2026.